Ace_ofspade
03-27-2008, 08:31 PM
A little game, made by Yahtzee (http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/archive/20060203-0419.htm).
I've come up with this fantastic new internet game that can be played by bloggers, forumites and other dip****s who make up stupid names for themselves all over the world. It's called 'What Made Your Parents Horny?'
The game is based on a notion I had wherein I figured that some parts of the year would have more births because nine months earlier was the optimum shagging period, like the holiday seasons or the colder months when you have to rub yourself all over your significant other just to stave off frostbite. But then again, the high degree of colds and sniffles people would have would cause a lot of green phlegmballs to go dribbling down the naked backs of miffed partners and would almost certainly kill the mood. Whatever, I'm pretty certain there's a part of the year when people **** more often. And then I thought, why does it matter? Let's use this science to embarass our parents instead.
The object of the game is simple. All you have to do is figure out what the date was nine months before your birth. We'll go for exactly nine months for simplicity's sake, even though your incubation period was almost certainly a little bit more or a little bit less, but if you do know the exact length of your incubation period (or IP as we used to say in the ghetto) then by all means, just subtract that from the day you were born. Once you have the approximate date of conception, go onto Wikipedia (the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom), look up the year, and discover exactly what was going on in the news at the time. Since you were conceived at this point, and because I'm a big fan of completely misusing Occam's Razor, it is natural to assume that the event in the news was what made your parents horny. We'll use a randomly-chosen person for an example, like oh say for instance me.
I was born on May 24th 1983 (birth sign Gemini, birth stone emerald, remember this date if you want to see the 7 Days A Skeptic secret ending). Precisely nine months before that was August 24th 1982. Let's look up '1982' and see what we have:
August 20 - Lebanese Civil War: A multinational force lands in Beirut to oversee the PLO withdrawal from Lebanon. French troops arrive August 21, US marines August 25
So, there you have it. My parents were inexplicably overcome with lust when they heard that the big hard helmeted warriors in the US Marine Corps were going to be inserted into the warm and moisten depths of Lebanon. I guess that's understandable. ****, I'm putting myself in the mood just writing this.
Let's do another one. Frog-faced screen actor Willem DaFoe was born on July 22nd, 1955. Subtract nine months and that becomes October 22nd, 1954. Look up '1954', find the nearest event to his date of conception, aaaand:
October 23 - West Germany joins NATO
What's that? We may soon be hearing the joyful laughter of people who pronounce their W's as V's in wherever the hell NATO generally congregate? Get up those stairs, Mrs. DaFoe, I'm having some disgraceful thoughts tonight!
See how easy this is? All you have to do is look up your own date of conception, post the nearest event on your personal site or favourite forum, and soon the whole world will know what irredeemable deviants your parents are! I'll leave you with a few more examples.
-Mr and Mrs Professor Stephen Hawking were made horny by the German invasion of Greece and Yugoslavia
-Mr and Mrs Osama bin Laden were put in the mood by the opening of the Equestrian events in the 1956 Stockholm Olympics
-Mr and Mrs John Wayne received a housecall from Doctor Bonk after the sizzlingly erotic birth of John Betjeman in 1906
For me, it was the death of cricketer Len Hutton.
...
I've come up with this fantastic new internet game that can be played by bloggers, forumites and other dip****s who make up stupid names for themselves all over the world. It's called 'What Made Your Parents Horny?'
The game is based on a notion I had wherein I figured that some parts of the year would have more births because nine months earlier was the optimum shagging period, like the holiday seasons or the colder months when you have to rub yourself all over your significant other just to stave off frostbite. But then again, the high degree of colds and sniffles people would have would cause a lot of green phlegmballs to go dribbling down the naked backs of miffed partners and would almost certainly kill the mood. Whatever, I'm pretty certain there's a part of the year when people **** more often. And then I thought, why does it matter? Let's use this science to embarass our parents instead.
The object of the game is simple. All you have to do is figure out what the date was nine months before your birth. We'll go for exactly nine months for simplicity's sake, even though your incubation period was almost certainly a little bit more or a little bit less, but if you do know the exact length of your incubation period (or IP as we used to say in the ghetto) then by all means, just subtract that from the day you were born. Once you have the approximate date of conception, go onto Wikipedia (the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom), look up the year, and discover exactly what was going on in the news at the time. Since you were conceived at this point, and because I'm a big fan of completely misusing Occam's Razor, it is natural to assume that the event in the news was what made your parents horny. We'll use a randomly-chosen person for an example, like oh say for instance me.
I was born on May 24th 1983 (birth sign Gemini, birth stone emerald, remember this date if you want to see the 7 Days A Skeptic secret ending). Precisely nine months before that was August 24th 1982. Let's look up '1982' and see what we have:
August 20 - Lebanese Civil War: A multinational force lands in Beirut to oversee the PLO withdrawal from Lebanon. French troops arrive August 21, US marines August 25
So, there you have it. My parents were inexplicably overcome with lust when they heard that the big hard helmeted warriors in the US Marine Corps were going to be inserted into the warm and moisten depths of Lebanon. I guess that's understandable. ****, I'm putting myself in the mood just writing this.
Let's do another one. Frog-faced screen actor Willem DaFoe was born on July 22nd, 1955. Subtract nine months and that becomes October 22nd, 1954. Look up '1954', find the nearest event to his date of conception, aaaand:
October 23 - West Germany joins NATO
What's that? We may soon be hearing the joyful laughter of people who pronounce their W's as V's in wherever the hell NATO generally congregate? Get up those stairs, Mrs. DaFoe, I'm having some disgraceful thoughts tonight!
See how easy this is? All you have to do is look up your own date of conception, post the nearest event on your personal site or favourite forum, and soon the whole world will know what irredeemable deviants your parents are! I'll leave you with a few more examples.
-Mr and Mrs Professor Stephen Hawking were made horny by the German invasion of Greece and Yugoslavia
-Mr and Mrs Osama bin Laden were put in the mood by the opening of the Equestrian events in the 1956 Stockholm Olympics
-Mr and Mrs John Wayne received a housecall from Doctor Bonk after the sizzlingly erotic birth of John Betjeman in 1906
For me, it was the death of cricketer Len Hutton.
...