Awesome copypasta

[KN]

Everyone has probably seen this copypasta a few times on FSTDT

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

This is what happens when it meets /b/

Spartans as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were Spartans.
SPARTAN KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** the oracle.
SPARTAN MOM: Okay, son.
SPARTAN KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go dine in hell with my friends, since it’s “Spartan Law”
SPARTAN MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The Spartan kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

SPARTAN DAD: Hey!
SPARTAN MOM: Hi, honey! I gave birth to a hunchback again. I guess I'll just throw it off the cliff, since "weak babies don't count as human life."
SPARTAN DAD: Okay, throw as many babies you want!
SPARTAN MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
SPARTAN DAD: Why not?
SPARTAN MOM: There are two gay men ****ing each other in there.
SPARTAN DAD: Why are they here?
SPARTAN MOM: Well everything around here’s so homoerotic and I wanted to join in.
SPARTAN DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbour runs into the villa.

SPARTAN NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Persian outside!
SPARTAN MOM: We'll be right there!

The Spartan couple quickly put on a pair of red capes and helmets. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Persian is standing on the edge of a large, deep well. He is about to be kicked in the chest. A crowd of Spartans stand around him, all wearing red capes and helmets.

RANDOM SPARTAN: Damn you, Persian! We hate you! You claim to be building an unstoppable empire, but we are descended from Heracles himself! That's because this is SPARTA! Die, Persian!

THE END



ITT copypasta. Post some.

EDIT: And might I say, both worlds envisioned here are pretty awesome. Black robes dude, black robes. And 'X-ification', that sounds pretty awesome too.

[Grahamr]

this is one i made

LOL I LIEK 2 PVP AN TONITE WE REIDED ORGRIMMARLOL

we were liek hay guise lez go kil sum hord an den we meid a reid grope an i was liek when thiz raid iz ovr dere won b any hord so den we wnt from liek sw 2 bb an we pripared 2 reid an we were liek lol but den da hord realiz dat we r gona reid an we wer liek wtf but dere were hord ther. sho we took teh boat neways an dere waz liek a troll on da boat all kek an we wnt haha u fail an kiled him cuz he iz ghey lol. an den when da reid grope got 2 rcht dere wer liek 50 hord dere omfg an dey wer all shammies an we were liek lol fuk u shammiz and den da figt hapend.

l gahtz 2 shatted lol but i rez an waz liek pwnin dem cuz dey suk an den da goblinz wer khillin ppl omfglol.

an den da l1ch k1ng cam an was liek all "Fools! You have neglected my presence in northrend! All the while i have been plotting against you....And now, you shall pay the price! Come, ghouls! this worthless port will be your first feast!!!!"

an we wnt all WTF AHHHHH DEY R ON H4X WE R GONA 2 DYE HHALP I AGGROED WUN an wee all dyed but da hord dyed 2 sho wtfevar.

an dat waz da stry of teh grate reid if u wanna j0in my klan jus msg me @ lolpwned@Aol.com

luuk mi up on utub 2.

END

how somone translated....


"Laughs out loud, I like to spam. tonight we raided Ogrigammar.

We were like "Hey guys, lets go kill some horde." Then we met a raid group and I was like "When this raid is over there won't be any Horde!" So then we went from like *nerd bull***** and we prepared to raid, and we were like "Laughs out loud." But then, the Horde realized that we are going to raid, and we were like "What the ****!?" But there were Horde there. So we took the boat anyways, and there was like a troll on the boat. All kek and we went "Haha, you fail!" and killed him because he was a homosexual. Laughs out loud. And then the raid group got to YMCA there were like 50 Horde there oh my ****ing God and they were all named "Sam" and we were all like "**** you, Sam!" and then the fight happened.

I took a huge dump. Laughs out loud. But I rested and was like owning them because they suck and then the goblins were killing people. Oh, my ****ing God laughs out loud

And then the bitch king came and was like all ""Fools! You have neglected my presence in northrend! All the while i have been plotting against you....And now, you shall pay the price! Come, ghouls! this worthless port will be your first feast!!!!"

And we went all "What, the **** AAAAH THEY ARE ON HACKINGS WE ARE GOING TO DIE HELP!" I aggroed, bun. We all died but the Horde died too, ho fever.

And that was the story of The Great Raid, if you want to join KKK just message me at lolpwned@Aol.com

Look at me! I am in a tub!"

[Demontestament]

this is one i made

LOL I LIEK 2 PVP AN TONITE WE REIDED ORGRIMMARLOL

we were liek hay guise lez go kil sum hord an den we meid a reid grope an i was liek when thiz raid iz ovr dere won b any hord so den we wnt from liek sw 2 bb an we pripared 2 reid an we were liek lol but den da hord realiz dat we r gona reid an we wer liek wtf but dere were hord ther. sho we took teh boat neways an dere waz liek a troll on da boat all kek an we wnt haha u fail an kiled him cuz he iz ghey lol. an den when da reid grope got 2 rcht dere wer liek 50 hord dere omfg an dey wer all shammies an we were liek lol fuk u shammiz and den da figt hapend.

l gahtz 2 shatted lol but i rez an waz liek pwnin dem cuz dey suk an den da goblinz wer khillin ppl omfglol.

an den da l1ch k1ng cam an was liek all "Fools! You have neglected my presence in northrend! All the while i have been plotting against you....And now, you shall pay the price! Come, ghouls! this worthless port will be your first feast!!!!"

an we wnt all WTF AHHHHH DEY R ON H4X WE R GONA 2 DYE HHALP I AGGROED WUN an wee all dyed but da hord dyed 2 sho wtfevar.

an dat waz da stry of teh grate reid if u wanna j0in my klan jus msg me @ lolpwned@Aol.com

luuk mi up on utub 2.

END

how somone translated....


"Laughs out loud, I like to spam. tonight we raided Ogrigammar.

We were like "Hey guys, lets go kill some horde." Then we met a raid group and I was like "When this raid is over there won't be any Horde!" So then we went from like *nerd bull***** and we prepared to raid, and we were like "Laughs out loud." But then, the Horde realized that we are going to raid, and we were like "What the ****!?" But there were Horde there. So we took the boat anyways, and there was like a troll on the boat. All kek and we went "Haha, you fail!" and killed him because he was a homosexual. Laughs out loud. And then the raid group got to YMCA there were like 50 Horde there oh my ****ing God and they were all named "Sam" and we were all like "**** you, Sam!" and then the fight happened.

I took a huge dump. Laughs out loud. But I rested and was like owning them because they suck and then the goblins were killing people. Oh, my ****ing God laughs out loud

And then the bitch king came and was like all ""Fools! You have neglected my presence in northrend! All the while i have been plotting against you....And now, you shall pay the price! Come, ghouls! this worthless port will be your first feast!!!!"

And we went all "What, the **** AAAAH THEY ARE ON HACKINGS WE ARE GOING TO DIE HELP!" I aggroed, bun. We all died but the Horde died too, ho fever.

And that was the story of The Great Raid, if you want to join KKK just message me at lolpwned@Aol.com

Look at me! I am in a tub!"

The sad thing is I understood the entire first part of the post without having to stop reading

[Grahamr]

The sad thing is I understood the entire first part of the post without having to stop reading

I should improve on that grate reid, make it longer with more pwnage and horrible grammar :)

[Ace_ofspade]

Everyone has probably seen this copypasta a few times on FSTDT.

>_O

I just went to that place for the first time. We really need to cull the herd.

Here are a few choice ones-

How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that

1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years

4.how come we cant speak monkey

Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread

The fallacies of gravity

just curious if anyone can explain these errors that many people are aware of when it comes to the theory of gravity

number 1. the way gravity reads, scientists have you think that objects of larger mass would have more of a gravitational pull then objects of smaller mass. so tell me how this makes sense

when we look at the sun we see the earth orbiting the sun, and the moon obriting the earth. if gravity were true, shouldnt our moon be orbiting the sun??? oh better yet, how come a planet way out in the distance such as neptune will orbit the sun, yet its moons will not orbit the sun??? something is wrong here, even at thise immense distances the moons will orbit the planets and not the sun, yet the suns "gravity" is strong enough supposedly to keep the planets in orbit.

number 2. why is it, only planets have orbits?? you could put a space shuttle in outter space and a astronaut will not orbit it. you could put the smallest pebbble into outter space and it will not orbit the space shuttle. why is this???? if gravity were true then surely such small objects would orbit larger ones, especially in space

number 3. on earth we see things that defy "gravity" on a daily basis. birds and airplanes for example. are you going to tell me that the gravity of the sun is strong enough to keep PLUTo in orbit but not an airplane or a little bird??????

number 4. scientists dont know how gravity works. or what it really is, and even then we see anaomolies in space that defy gravity

so my point is that gravity(like other scientifist "tHeories" is very on shaky grounds. it doesnt have the evidnece to back it up, and when examined critically it falls under the pressure(no pun intended )

show me a pebble that orbits a mountain or a bird that orbits the earth and then gravity will make sense. or better yet just show me how gravity works(if it works at all) and then maybe it will be more than just a theory

how do you evolutionsts explain gravity???

I don't care about logic or science, the Bible says the moon and sun move.

I don't even want to read on.

[steelcobra]

The funniest thing is, the last one is 3/4 right. The moon does orbit the earth. And the sun orbits the galactic core.

[Pelor]

I like the Legend of 4chan:
Legend has it that if you travel east to Japan, you will find an old man living on the coast just 40 miles south of Tokyo. If you give this man $500,000 he will take you to an island just off the coast that can't be found on any map. This island is filled with people without faces or names, who hold grudges over the most trivial of matters. When you arrive at this island the first thing you will see is a swimming pool that is never open. Just beyond the pool you will find a town that is filled with cats. You must find a white cat wearing a pink bow. If you ask the cat how to get to Mexico, he will stand up and ask you for three things: Your name, your face, and your soul. If you agree to give them to him, your face will vanish and you will forget your own name. You can live on the island and have whatever you desire, but you can never leave the island. The only way to escape is to find the cat again and ask for a young child. The next day a van will pull up in front your house. You will hear a knock at the door, and a voice will ask if you want to come to a party. No one knows what happens if you answer the door.

[KN]

4ailchan

YOU SHALL HAVE DEATH, dirty 7channer!

And that reminds me of creepypasta, and creepypasta reminds me of the Holders Series, probably one of the chan community's best collaberative works. Try to find it.

[Ace_ofspade]

And that reminds me of creepypasta, and creepypasta reminds me of the Holders Series, probably one of the chan community's best collaberative works. Try to find it.

O_O

Jesus Christ. (http://www.flecko.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=4218&pid=91331&st=0&#entry91331)

[KN]

There's roughly 70 of them at present, but Wikichan is down right now.

[steelcobra]

Most of them are simplified versions of the stories from these books: http://www.amazon.com/Scary-Stories-Boxed-Alvin-Schwartz/dp/006440465X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8547966-3062253?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174591895&sr=8-1
That I read all the time as a kid.

[KN]

Most of them are simplified versions of the stories from these books: http://www.amazon.com/Scary-Stories-Boxed-Alvin-Schwartz/dp/006440465X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8547966-3062253?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174591895&sr=8-1
That I read all the time as a kid.

I'm so /r/ing that the next Lithursday. I wants.

[steelcobra]

The illustrations are ****ing creepy too.

[Pelor]

Google is fast becoming the the world's most popular search engine. Many people use it, but few now of its terrible history. It is said that a close-knit group of programmers working under the direction of old and archaic forms of numerology took steps to direct Google-users to occult sites, if certain conditions were met.

Of these websites, there is one in particular has a very un-cultic appearence. There, you will interact with many people --some who will call you friend, others who will not-- but I assure you, these people are not real. This site will consume your life, and you will view it at every available chance, until one day you are offered the opportunity to meet your compatriots face-to-face. It may be a party, it may rendevouz, but it will happen.

You will never be seen again. You will never be heard from again. However, your fingers will still type words, beckoning others to a meeting in person.

I know the secret to finding this site, but I pray that you do not go. To find this website, the word you must search for is "creepypasta". This link you must click is the third.

someone help me

[KN]

That's surprisingly spot-on. The third result is the official WoW forums ;p